Handling Rejection - Focus On Something Aside From Finding Your Ideal Match
It seems to me that the intensity of the reaction a person has to being rejected is inversely proportional to the trust they have in the concept of a higher power.
Let's say a person has little belief in anything more perceptive, orderly, or structured than himself. He doesn't pray or surrender or feel his connection to any type of creator/source/deeper order/life force.
He is reliant solely upon his thinking for guidance, and does not believe in any type of bigger picture than what he can perceive with his five senses. When an individual with that consciousness thinks he has met his one and only, but she does not share his perception, then everything goes out of whack in his world.
She might consider their plight to be a simple case of incompatibility in some important area, but he perceives a personal rejection, and feels as if there is something wrong with him that he needs to fix.
I can't picture a more powerless and helpless position to be in than feeling like there is a problem with you that will keep you from ever having what you want, and not understanding how or being able to make yourself to fix it.
By contrast, let's look in on a person of faith, whether it is religious, spiritual, or contemplative/experiential. When someone gets the memo that a new prospect does not feel the same kind of potential for a satisfying and developing partnership that she does, her reaction happens on a completely different level.
She may feel some grief or sadness, but she do not perceive the other person's opinion as a statement of judgment about who she is.
She merely accepts that their time together was brief, and her trust in a higher power enables her to relax, because he or she does not feel that she is at the wheel and took a wrong turn and had better get themselves back on track.
So if I was going to give any tips to my fellow swimmers, it would be this: Focus more of your energy on cultivating a relationship with a higher power bigger than your mind and senses, and less of your energy on trying to find your ideal match.
Use doubleyourdating tips in combination with reading the game neil strauss book to get a broader viewpoint on the dating scene. Then you'll be able to marvel in the graciousness of letting folks come and go from your life, as they are wired to do, and you will feel the freedom to do the same while adhering to neil strauss dating guidelines.
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